Woah… too many colours.

I was thinking about my future in the afternoon and I thought;
dude, what would happen if I met the love of my life today?
This is what I would really really say. Without putting sweet words or making it flowery.
First impressions and first dates are very important and before, perhaps I could provide a good future.
But now I don’t know. All I could tell you is the truth.

“If I met the love of my life today I would tell her that I would make the worst first impression on a date. I’d tell her that I don’t have a savings account because my family’s financial situation is worse than I imagined and I can’t marry her as soon as I wanted to. I would tell her that I would have to take care of my parents and have them living with me till the end of their days because I owe everything to them. I would tell her if we got married; I wouldn’t be able to afford the diamonds, the cars, the vacations and lifestyle that she deserved to have. Honestly, I wouldn’t know if I’m able to provide air-conditioning for our bedroom. I would tell her that her life would be hard from now on and if she’d ever leave me, I’d understand.


Before she would leave me, I’d tell her that she is the person I’ve chosen for my life because she makes me comfortable around her, her laughter and her smile are worth more than anything in this world and she is the only person I need and wanted since I could remember. I would promise to provide for her and fight for her future so she would have a better home. I’d tell her that I’d work till night so she wouldn’t have to and seeing her asleep in bed comfortable is enough for me to know that I kept my promise. In the morning, I would thank her for being by my side and thank God for letting me have someone to love. If others see me as someone being unloyal – know that it is only her that I love and will only love even thought sometimes I joke about having four wives. I would tell her the absolute truth and my love because it is the only thing I could ever offer. If we had kids, I would keep a savings account for their educations because I would want them to have a bright future and a good father. I would scrape the grounds searching for jobs till I make something of my life for our family. I would promise your parents that you’d never starve before bed and we’d never fight about financial problems. I would never raise my hands to you or ever be mad at you because I know you’re hurt because of me. If you were my wife, I’d whisper something in your ear while we’re in bed and that is – you are my life.”


Farah Ashraaf (Jr.) made me realize.
All of us have skeletons in our closet.
And I have mine.
And people would be quite surprised.

Not many people know this song.
So consider this a 101 on blues.
(Especially for Izzat a.k.a little coke drinker bin air berkarbonat)
This song is called ‘little wing’ which was originally written by Jimi Hendrix.
The Corrs did a wonderful rendition, it gave me the hibbie-jibbies.

and Andrea (vocalist) is such an orgasm.
(not ‘the’ but ‘is such’)


2009 started off with sleep, sleep and more sleep.
So I guess, it wasn’t anything that I expected – but it was comfortable enough.
The night ended with my sister and I covering a song from Corinne Bailey Rae.
So if you wanted to see me making a fool out of myself (syok sendiri) singing – press that button.

The recording wasn’t half as fun as uploading the video –
because it was my first time uploading a video and it was fun finding out what youtube is all about.
I learnt what was Vegas (Sony production) and how to render the damn thing.

Loved it.


Posted on: January 1, 2009


I skipped across town for a good game of pool.
(Quite a fast drive back home.)
To make up for nights that I wasn’t really there for you.
Of all the nights, 2009 found me waiting for you till 7am for that particular game.
Sadly, it didn’t come true?

The irony of it. Heh. Perhaps this is how you felt every night when I’m out.
Perhaps it’s a lesson that sometimes I have to learn.
But I wanted to tell you (perhaps while playing that particular game);
I’m really sorry for the way I treated you.

And that I wanted to make amends with spending it with you –
instead of being outside half-baked, high or even drunk.
Instead, I spent the night learning a Metallica song which raised my blood pressure through the roof.

But, that’s alright.
Because I had a good time ;
reflecting about alot of things I’ve done in 2008. 

Notice the 'lonely' 8 ball?

Notice the 'lonely' 8 ball?

*loud guitar playing*

*knock on my door*

Baba: Dah sembahyang maghrib?

Me: Um… Belum…?

Baba: Dah nak dekat isyak ni, belum maghrib?!

Me: Um, ok ok. Sorry sorry. *scramble towards the toilet to get air sembahyang*

*Khairi goes to pray, finishes and walks back to his room*

Baba: Apa you buat dalam bilik tu? main guitar?

Me: Takde… saja… sebab dah lama tak main guitar.

Baba: Lebih baik ikut Baba pergi surau sembahyang Isyak…

Me: Um… ok, besok Ayie ikut Baba…

*walks into my room, close the door and smacks forehead*



last conversation in an apartment

last conversation in an apartment

 Brief History of Song
I created the first two verses of the song “maybe i’m to blame” half a year ago, perhaps. It was one of those songs that was too personal for it’s own good that I felt ashamed for writing into it, I felt insecure and I always promised myself that I’d complete it. Finally it’s done and I have to say that the lyrics were exactly what I have always wanted to say to Fatiha (my ex) within the 8 years of courtship. It’s kinda funny when you think of it, when you had 8 years worth of possibly-meaningful conversations – you’d expect something very memorable but as always, it’s the final hours to the love story that really matters. In dramas and television shows, we’d normally see happy or sad endings but in real life – nothing is really mutual at the end. So the setting is placed in an apartment, not too late at night but perhaps around 10 to 11pm. A girl and a guy are face-to-face, sitting opposite one another. This is how the last few hours with my ex ended and these are the words that I never got to say.

Maybe I’m to Blame – Kairee Abd. Karim

Verse One:
Maybe I’ve gone insane,
but baby don’t you turn away.
Leaving me, holding onto broken words –

Verse Two:
And maybe I’m the one to blame,
but baby I’m the one that stayed the same.
I’m sick and tired of this game.
You’ll never change (you’ll never change).

Stop your crying eyes,
I don’t wanna see the light – tonight.
Baby, make it go away
the reasons for you to stay – tonight.

Verse Three:
Maybe I’ve gone insane,
but baby don’t you turn away.
Leaving me, holding onto broken words –

Verse Four:
Maybe this ain’t the same,
Stop calling names, please drop this game.
You’re embarrassed of my face.
Don’t turn away (just tell the truth),
I’m to blame (I’m to blame).

Stop your crying eyes,
I don’t wanna see the light – tonight.
Baby, make it go away
the reasons for you to stay – tonight.

Stop your crying eyes,
I don’t wanna hear the lies – tonight.
Baby, make it go away –
the reasons for me to stay – by your side.

I want to live… (my life).
I want to breathe… (my life).
I want to breathe… (my life).

*All words and works are reserved (copyright 2008)
By Khairi Abd. Karim and Sinister Side Room (SSR)

What you missed out on…

June 2018
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